Today was another day of waking up and thinking, "Oh god, Not again". That's not like me, well, not the real me anyway. I looked around the house after getting the boys to bed wondering which jobs to tackle and then it hit me. I slumped on the sofa still in my pj's and just couldn't be bothered. Not in a "not today" way but in a "I'm done with this shit every day" way. I realised that this was how things were going to stay. Nothing I said, asked or screamed at anyone made a difference. None of them care about the filthy conditions we are living in. I know a few of you may be thinking "I know what you mean, you should see our house" but I don't just mean messy, I mean GROSS. I am disgusted to be living here and embarrassed if anyone comes round (luckily they don't very often) I DO NOT want my babies subjected to these hideous conditions either.
Just to highlight a few of the problems here so you know what I'm talking about.
There is urine over the toilet, wall, bath, shower curtain and floor in the bathroom where they don't aim straight.
Hairs ALWAYS left in the bath
Toothpaste all over the sink, mirror and wall
Toys and water left in the bath from the babies bath the night before
Food all over the dinner table and the boys chairs from last nights meal.
Food under the table from last nights meal
Sick on the bed sheets where it hasn't been changed
Piles of clothes everywhere, clean and dirty.
Some of the baby clothes have grown mould at the bottom of the wash basket where they haven't been rinsed
Dog hair everywhere as nobody takes care of the dog
Mould in the windows where the condensation hasn't been wiped off
Tea stains on the units, surfaces, floor and bin in the kitchen
Never ending amount of crumbs or bits of food on everything in the kitchen
I could go on but you get the idea- it's gross. Why don't I do something about it? I have a crawler and a whirlwind of a toddler who keep me busy enough clearing up their daily messes and very little time to clear the back log. The other three in the house just keep adding to it all and I have seriously had enough!
So, when my foolish husband asked me what was wrong this morning "as I looked a little bit fed up" he got a bit more than he bargained for. I took my opportunity and got all three of them together while the babies slept. They looked like school kids getting a bollocking.
I told them I had totally had enough of living like this and I was not going to put up with it any longer. It is unfair to expect me to clean up after them all the time and I am not going to do it any more. I am on the highest dose of my pills, I get on average 4 hours sleep a night, I am totally exhausted, thoroughly depressed and living in these conditions is the main reason why.
I was a little emotional at this point and asked if they had any suggestions how things could change for the better. 2 shrugs and a dunno. Did they have anything to say? All eyes averted and a few blushes. I then told them that I would NOT be living like this ANY LONGER so they could either do something about it or the number of people living here would soon be changing.
Big stared out the window trying not to giggle, BiL stared at the carpet and my husband alternated between the floor, the window and me. None of them said a word. I told them all to look at each other at one point just so they could see how depressing it was talking to blank faces, they all just half smiled at each other so I took my cue to leave. I know when I'm beat. I had a good cry in the shower as I washed another invisible grimy layer away.
I don't know what will happen now. Big has disappeared to his Dads for the weekend, no doubt glad to escape. My husband was hoovering and BiL was cleaning the windows when I got out of the bathroom. I feel really let down by them all. I know they are trying to sort the place out but I have sat through this stuff before. Things are great for a week or so then it goes back to normal.
I love my husband, I really do. I think that is why I have put up with this situation for so long. We have talked about it before and he has always made empty promises to change then off we go again. Not any more. I have two little babies to think of and I wont put them through living like this any longer.
It comes down to Shape up or Ship out!