My reasons this week may seem a little shallow but they have made me feel quite good about my little self so I don't care :)
When I started writing my blog it was purely for 2 reasons. Mainly I wanted to express what I was feeling at any given time so that I didn't take everything out on my poor husband all the time. I'm sure he got fed up of hearing how awful I was feeling all the time. So you could say it probably saved our marriage and his sanity! I love having the freedom to express myself without the fear of upsetting anyone, hopefully not anyway. You may not agree with everything I say but that's different to being upset by it. To be perfectly honest I didn't think anyone would bother to read it. I am amazed (and quietly chuffed to bits) that my lickle bloggin baby has now topped 1000 pageviews!!
When I started writing I felt completely alone. I didn't know anyone else who had PND. I didn't know anyone else in the village and not many people come to visit us out in twigville! I felt very alone, misunderstood and unable to cope. I felt sure that somewhere out there, someone else must be feeling like this too. I didn't know how but I hoped that writing about how crap my days were and how I got through them I may give hope to someone else. I asked my husband endless questions about how people would find my blog (his blog is a year old), how do I find other blogs like mine, blah, blah blah. I'm sure he must have wondered what he had let himself in for by suggesting it!
Twice this week I have read that some lovely ladies have found a bit of hope or courage to keep going through reading my blog. Ladies I can't tell you how amazing that is for me to hear! Even if it is just to take comfort from the fact that you know you are not alone, I have fulfilled my blogging goal in helping others. It has made the hellish days and desperate daily struggles worthwhile. I know how it feels to read a blog or comment and think, "thank god I'm not going crazy and it's not just me!" followed by a deep sigh of relief. I have had some very supportive and comforting comments that have been so welcome it has felt like an online hug. The sincerity and feeling has brought tears to my eyes.
Some days coming on here and hearing about your days has been the only thing that I have looked forward to and that's kept me going. so on that note for everyone that has read my blog
You have all got me through my darkest days in one way or another so now it is my absolute pleasure to return the favour any way I can.
Big love and squishy hugs to you all xxxx