I'm not usually one to complain about these great people and the support they offer. Today however is a totally different story. I feel so annoyed and upset that I felt I should vent my emotions on this big white screen and banish it into the ether.....
I had a visit from our new health visitor today as Squishy was due his 3-4 month check and weighing. She said she would weigh Chaos too, purely for interest as he hasn't been weighed in a while.
Before I go on, I am assuming you have read my previous post Day 34. Today has been a really rough day with endless bouts of crying, nausea and a splitting headache.Chaos has been whining and moaning about not a lot all day, driving me nuts so It's pretty obvious when you look at me that I'm having a bad day. I also realise that things seem a little bit worse when you're not well but this is different!
2pm she arrives. Chaos helps her unpack the scales and complains at not being allowed to empty her bag and filo fax, love him! She weighed him first and filled in his red book while I redressed him. It turns out that since he was weighed 4 months ago, he has lost a pound. (Bearing in mind he has been ill and off his food the last few days.) What then followed was an hour and a half lecture on all the things I have been doing wrong with Chaos. She didn't fully listen to what I was saying and ended up with totally the wrong end of the stick. I kept trying to correct her but she didn't stop talking to listen. I played with Squish til she had finished, which was really rude of me, but it was nearly 3pm by this point and I was getting pretty pissed off!
What I said was "Chaos will sleep anywhere between 2-4 hours for his nap and if he wakes up after 2pm he has a bottle of milk and a snack as we have to leave to get the Big One from school at 2:30pm." What she heard was Chaos sleeps about 4 hours a day and misses his lunch so he has a bottle of milk every day instead.
I wasn't prepared for the hammering she gave me at all. Have I taken him to the Drs? He shouldn't be sleeping for 4 hours in the morning if he sleeps through the night. At his age most children nap for 30 minutes to an hour a day (he's 17 months). A toddler needs more than a bottle of milk as they are so active. Is he having full fat cows milk? (No, formula because his diet isn't great) Is it follow on or toddler? (No, it's the first one as there isn't much difference.) Small lecture on formula supplemented with vitamins and iron. Does he have his milk in a bottle or beaker? (Bottle as he has it in bed before he goes to sleep at night) Small lecture on dental decay from drinking from a bottle/sippy cup after 1year old. So, what does he eat? And it goes on.....
Keeping Chaos healthy is a fine balancing act. If he misses more than 2 sleeps in a week he gets overtired and then doesn't eat as much. This makes him more tired as he is an active chap so the downward spiral begins. It ends up usually a week later in a high temperature and a sleepless night or two. Once the temperature drops and he gets a good nights sleep he starts to eat again. Then he's back to normal.
I explained all this and her suggestion was to keep him up by taking him to toddler groups or the park. Then try to get some lunch in him before his nap in the afternoon. I explained again that if he is tired he wont eat. If he misses sleeps he wont eat and I have to get my son from school in the afternoon so he wont be able to sleep. "He could have a nap in the car." A 10 minute nap in the car is not as good as 2 hours sleep in his bed though is it.
I have honestly never even considered throwing someone out of my house until today! She is coming back to weigh Chaos in 3 weeks but I think we might just cancel it or ask for someone else. I can't cope with another bout of that. She couldn't have picked a worse day to give me a parent bashing. She then pointed out that I was obviously having a hard day as I seemed very different to Monday when she called in. (I had already told her the Dr had increased my dose) She then asked if I was having trouble coping?! WTF??? The Dr wrote to her and asked her to visit after my initial call in February, explaining that I had PND, was finding it hard to cope and could do with some support.
Her parting shot was, if I ever felt like I couldn't cope then I should give her a call and have a comfort call. "Just talking about it can really help" I struggle to cope every hour of every day but I'm more likely to ring social bloody services for permanent childcare than a "comfort call" from her!!!
3:25pm she left. I shut the door and cried my bloody eyes out. How dare a "healthcare professional" make me feel like that, especially in my own home!
I've just realised this is rather long! I would also like to acknowledge the fact that not all health visitors are like this. Most are super, smashing, great! I just felt so upset and set upon that I wanted to get it off my chest. Sorry if I offended you x